Sunday, April 05, 2009

Feeling special

Do you feel special?

I mean not as in a special child/person, or that somebody has made you (or has been making you, depending on your luck) feel quote special unquote. But special in the sense that you are unique and you have some rights that you don't need to earn because you are, well, special. Do you expect things to happen a certain way (mostly according to your liking), and feel surprised if people are not , at least, mildly pleasant to you all the time? Or that you have a right to come up with the best idea/anecdote/aphorism in the room, or your loved ones will always understand and do to your bidding? Or that if you gamble, you'll win at least once against high oddd just because you are you?

I do. I mean I used to. I understand that perhaps there are tomes written on this feeling. Children have an acknowledged right to feel special, possibly along with Paris Hilton and Shahrukh Khan. These we all know, and perhaps can explain. With children it is like survival of the specieces working subliminally, and slebs are spoilt. And, more plausibly, people start considering themselves special because they have worked hard for it by acting/teaching/having sex on camera/running a country and so on.

But what about people like me? Is it some kind of residual memory of the general approval we get as kids, or is it my minds way of telling me, "Hey you are not a loser, you can live on and expect great things (possibly a nice Chateaubriand Steak) coming your way." To further my trite investigation, I may also put forward the thesis that this is some hormonal ebullience that has made human beings the hardiest and most fecund, in every way, specices ever. That also can be explained, then.

Now, there are ideologies or structures of looking at teh world that may feed this hormonal ebullience by making one feel special; religion comes to my mind, Art is another mood-lifter, and so are sports, power and many other things. My question is: why do peopel without these structures feel special and cheery about being themselves? Or do they?

Perhaps it is the ego thing, which possibly gives you character and guides you the better part of your life. Whatever.

So, to conclude this post, I don't have a point. Possible concluding sentences are:

  1. Tell me if you fee special and if you do what are your expectations from the cosmos in general.
  2. I do not feel special anymore. Not that I am depressed or anything, I miss the feeling, and now I feel a bit bland. Please make me feel special by saying nice things about me.
  3. Or, if you want, tell me if and how you stopped feeling special, and if you thought that it was a part of growing up.

If you write like a certain lady (of amethyst prose and sapphire experiences), please feel free to link to your blog and make yourself feel special. I would feel special too!


Scribbler :) said...

Feeling special...the kind of 'special' you are talking about....
is indeed an 'ego' thing. My ego and I are friends these days...
we consult each other before going public. I am mostly able to shut it
up with the 'you-are-nobody-special-to-feel-this-way' discourse.
Occasionally, it when a certain seeker of 'chastity and continence'
fails to reply to my repeated 'Hi...Aaaai...Oye...Achis?...Kire?...What's up?' on Skype.
That's when my ego tells me 'You are special...and the seeker of chastity and continence
is not treating you so'.
I rationalize, 'Knowing Skype, maybe my messages are not reaching the seeker of chastity and continence.'
My ego replies 'Granted. But does the seeker of chastity and continence send you a message
ever? On his own?'.

I shut up. And let my ego prevail.
So I quite understand where you are coming from :)

P.S. Had misplaced the URL to your blog...hence couldn't add you. Found. Added. Glad.

Shoma said...


I think people are nicer to me as in perhaps more than they should be if there's a distinction like that... I don't think that makes me feel special...

And not depressed or anything like that yeah just bland.. true very true :)

Shoma said...

And she hit the nail on the head :)and maybe yours:P you're one elusive moon

The Ketchup Girl said...

wow. You write like a dream! :-)